Onto Carmel…day two and three. See Carmel Part I for day one.

Once we had escaped being kicked out of our Carmel family inn, we headed into the valley for some yummy brunch at Corkscrew Cafe.

Not only was the food delicious, but so was the service. Sean and Dustin were our servers…They were hilarious. They looked twelve years old, but apparently it was only their innocence that kept them looking so young. Well that and their rosey cheeks.

We finished our ‘Ladies Who Lunch” luncheon and popped down the street to Talbott and Georis wineries.

The atmosphere for tastings was beautiful and the company was pretty fantastic as well .

At Talbott we met two adorable couples from Los Angeles. The ladies were sisters and despite both being grandmothers they looked 25. They sat and talked with us for a while offering advice on beautiful skin, local wineries and of course, how to find true love.

At Georis we met Bear, a musician from South Carolina who currently holds the Guinness Book of World Records for finger tapping. He had a snaggle tooth, southern accent and sweet sense of humor. Check him out:

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We had finished up in the Valley and headed back to the hotel. We quickly refreshed and headed out for a late dinner. Unfortunately we didn’t make a reservation at the restaurant Dametra’s, so we put in our name, dropped off our Georis and Talbott wine and headed to Il Fornaio for a couple cocktails in the meantime.

At Il Fornaio we met “B” a bartender who had been working there for over 15 years. Quite entertaining and made one mean pomegranate margarita.

Over the course of the next hour we attempted to hit on a table of men who had obviously just returned from a game of golf. We created a diagram to determine who was single and who was married. Alas. No luck. Again.

After hugging “B” goodbye we headed back over to Dametra’s for some outstanding food, singing, dancing and good times. The restaurant is run by a family of Greek men (i.e. cousins, brothers, grandfather, etc). I emphasize the word family because I felt like it was actually just a group of friends who shared a common interest of good food and good women. We were attended to by at least five male waiters, serenaded by their grandfather and danced adored by a table of Arabic drummers. An interesting experience to say the least.

We finished up our final course and headed back to Brophy’s for Round II. We entered the bar to find all the locals and workers knew us by name. I even got a talking to again by the owner, Chris, about keeping it PG tonight. We dropped off the bottle of wine we didn’t consume at dinner behind the bar and bellied up to a table in the corner next to two hawt single dudes, who I shall call Folsom and Sven.

Folsom and Sven didn’t seem terribly interested at first, however, after joining us for a drink, their attitudes quickly adjusted. Christie pretty quickly decided Sven was heres, despite Jen’s tentative interest. Mary chatted up Folsom, however he was suffering from a recent broken heart and didn’t care too much to take any females serious. With Mary and Christie distracted, Jen and I wandered the other 10 square feet of the bar for any newbies.

Unfortunately there were no newbies, instead  the wedding party from the night before turned up, including Robert. He quickly approached me, stuck his hand inappropriately down my shirt and began making out with me. Chris, the bar owner, quickly reminded us to keep it PG. Robert then decided it was probably a good idea to go back to my hotel room. I agreed.

So I walked over to the table with Sven, Christie, Folsom and Mary to grab my coat. I explained to them my plan and everyone seemed to be in agreement that it was an excellent idea. On my way back to Robert I stopped to talk with this dude who I shall call Tin Cup. Tin Cup was a movie producer from LA who was sitting in the bar with an oversized pair of headphones choosing music for his upcoming movie. He couldn’t tell me what the name of it was but described it as follows:

“It’s a story about a war veteran who comes back to play professional golf. He comes to Carmel, meets a lady and rebuilds his life. Oh and it’s starring Kevin Costner.”

I responded by asking, “Didn’t they already make that movie? It’s called Tin Cup.” He did not think this was clever. He went on to make ridiculous statements like..

“If you don’t have money, you can never be happy.”

“I’m dating a japanese princess. She’s a direct descendant of the emperor. In our spare time she and I run a dog grooming business called Pretty Doggies.”

“Don’t call me sweetheart. My name is ____. Don’t ever call me a pet name again.”

I seriously couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried. The true downside of this conversation, outside of feeling dumber, was that Robert thought I was flirting with this 52 year old douche and left the bar giving me a dirty look. So much for going back to the hotel room. So instead the girls and I finished up our cocktails and silently headed back to our hotel room.

Sunday morning we woke up, snuck out of the hotel room and headed over to Big Sur to have brunch at Nepenthe. I was pretty sure Jen and Christie were going to vomit on the windy 30-minute drive. Especially when I started singing showtunes. But we made it there free and clear. No Sunday Funday lunch would do without a refreshing cocktail, especially if daiquiris are on the menu!

The day ended with a long drive back to San Francisco. Lola, wine and dignity in tow…

A great kick off to the Summer of Single Dudes.