I’m still unclear why, but Mary’s younger brother Doug has moved to San Francisco for the amazing summer ahead! For those of you who know Mary, imagine a male version of her and you have Doug. So on Friday night we wanted to welcome him to the city, so we hosted an average weekend night on the town. Dinner at my place. Cocktails in North Beach. Late night pizza. Dance party. In addition to Doug, my friends Cait and Ali were also in town…a full house, so to speak.

We cheated a little on dinner and heated up a frozen lasagna and spent more energy on the delicious cocktails. Before we knew it hours had passed, it was 11:30pm and we were catching cabs for the bars. We headed to Savoy in North Beach…I’m not entirely sure what went down. Things were blurry after the first drink. I vaguely remember talking to a couple guys, friends, etc. I’m pretty sure Mary, Doug and I hit up Golden Boy pizza and somehow we made it back to my apartment with a crowd for an after party. I didn’t last long…I was found in Sean’s bed passed out, face down, jeggings and all.

The next morning I woke up next to Mary in bed. I roll over and she clamours, “Where’s Doug?!”

SIDE NOTE: In any other situation this would not be a legitimate question or concern. However, a couple months back Doug was visiting for the weekend and Mary had taken him out to dinner and drinks. I ran into them at KTs (RIP) around midnight that evening and neither of them could form complete sentences. That next morning we discovered Doug had been picked up by the police and dropped off at his oldest sister’s house in Russian Hill. His wallet and cell phone were gone and his hands were cut and bleeding. Mary was responsible for him that night and had to work up quite the story to keep from getting her ass chewed out by her family.

So on Saturday morning when we awoke to prep for Beer & Oyster Festival brunch and activities, questioning Doug’s location was a valid question. I convinced Mary he just wasn’t awake yet and she just needed to give him some time. By 11am we were dressed and still no Doug. We went to his apartment, bribed the door man and pounded on his front door. Still no Doug. I called the police to see if he was in the drunk tank, while Mary worked on getting a spare key to his place. Low and behold, Doug was sounds asleep, phone off, at his side.

Now that Doug was located we headed over to Kel’s for Beer & Oyster Brunch. Yummy deliciousness ensued. (Note the boy in the blue shirt. That’s Kellan’s brother Patrick. He comes for this weekend every year. He’s an excellent time.)

By 2pm we were into the Festival, enjoying the music and desperately searching for the margaritas tent. Bingo! Danny not only found the bar, but also the heaviest handed bartender!

SIDE NOTE: At last year’s Beer & Oyster, Danny and I didn’t make it past 3pm. Around 2:30 I was asked to leave the festival after attempting to order a margarita from the bartender who was passing out free shots of tequila. On our way home I discovered a bench to rest on. After looking at the below picture, it’s no wonder I was asked to leave.

This year, I made it the whole day…

It definitely got a little cold, but we waited it out to hear the first couple Cake songs. At this point the wind was chilly, but we were toasty…for example:

Milo challenged a five year old hippie child to a hula hoop contest. Milo was beat in less than one minute.

The annual pyramid came and went quite quickly…

We determined “Blueblockers” make you feel ten times more drunk than you already are… (To purchase your own pair, click here.)

We headed to Paxti’s for some pizza goodness post festival. On our way there we ran into a park, some slutty women Danny and Doug stalked for a bit and met new friends…

At Paxti’s we managed to make quite the scene. Someone ordered three 12-packs of PBR, which the group then proceeded to shotgun on the street. We tend to keep it classy wherever we go. (Please note Kellan has morphed to Bel at this point in the day. I’m sure she blames her brother’s terrible influence.)

I’d say only a couple ounces of dignity were lost at this year’s Beer & Oyster Festival. Looking forward to Union Street and North Beach Festival in June!!

PS Check out this judging baby. This little biatch stared me down for a solid five minutes. Seriously?!