Mexico…The Reason I Can’t Travel with Christie

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It’s been a couple weeks since Christie and I returned from our famed four day extravaganza in Cabo San Lucas. Perhaps you’ve heard a couple of the stories, but in case you haven’t, here’s what I’m willing to share…

It was only seven days prior to what ultimately ended up to be our departure date, that I received a call from Christie with the news there were $280 round trip tickets to Mexico available for the next week. We had absolutely no plan for a vacation, but after a very brief text exchange we deemed it necessary we take advantage of this great deal.

Flash forward to Wednesday morning, passports and luggage in tow, we were on our way to SFO Terminal 2 Virgin Airlines for our flight to Cabo.

Thanks to our friends in the sky, we received several free cocktails en route and were quite, let’s call it, relaxed by the time we touched down. Landing at almost 5pm we were ready for a drink and some dinner, but first we had to check into our resort. This is the view to which we were greeted…Perfection.

We checked into our room and settled in for the evening. After an outstanding meal at the five star restaurant on property, we enjoyed an after dinner cocktail and even got the opportunity to meet their head chef! Of course she didn’t speak english, so it was a very brief encounter.

Aside, we closed out the night early and saved ourselves up for a very long day ahead. We awoke early Thursday morning for our appointments at the spa. After a couple treatments and some well earned time in the sauna and steam room, we headed over to the adult pool for some lunch and cocktails at the swim up bar.

Let me preface the next part of our story with the following: Prior to leaving for our trip, both Christie and I received long lectures from our mothers to avoid certain things in Mexico. For example, we were to not drink the water, spend time with strange men or any strangers for that matter, imbibe any foreign substances (pun intended), visit downtown alone, etc, etc. Over the next 24 hours we proceeded to break every single one of their rules.

Almost immediately after arriving to the pool we met six men on vacation for a bachelor party. These characters included:

  • Hi-Larry-ous the Bachelor
  • Stacks
  • The Window Washer
  • Transformer
  • Note: There were also two other dudes in attendance as well, however we didn’t get to know them as well as the others.
Over the course of the afternoon we enjoyed several shots of the hotel’s best tequila at half price thanks to Christie,  took a lesson in body surfing and buried Christie in the sand. By the end of the afternoon, these lovely gents had offered us an invitation back to their suite. Assuming we would be heading downtown, we got completely dolled up and headed over to their place a couple buildings over. Wrong.
Upon arrival we quickly realized the boys had settled in for the night and we’d be spending the evening on the resort in their sweet. But don’t worry…we found a way to pass the time…(get your head out of the gutter)…we taught them King’s Cup!

It wasn’t but a couple hours into the night when we ran out of chi-chi’s and had to order more booze. Nice work Christie.

I think it might have been the final bottle of vodka that threw me for a loop, but my memory blurs a bit after this point.

The next day we awoke after only a few hours of sleep to find my camera missing and only a short time to make it downtown to catch our snorkeling day trip. I had a sneaking suspicion it might be at the pool, which was open 24 hours, but when I arrived it was nowhere to be found. Disappointed I headed back to my room only to run into a woman on the foot path who asked if I was looking for my camera. She had just turned it into Lost & Found. I then realized she would have had to review the pictures to know it was my camera. Very very very embarrassing.

Needless to say we did make it onto our snorkeling trip, which turned out to be an open bar. Score!

When we returned back to the hotel we had several drive by visits from the bachelor party, however we failed to take our mother’s advice again and drank not the water, but the cocktails with the ice on the boat that afternoon. We were down for the count until we headed to the airport the next morning. It didn’t matter though. There was no way we could have topped Thursday anyway.

De nada Mexico. De nada.

 

Another One Bites the Dust

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Yes…another one is soon to be off the market, so of course, it was time for a bachelorette party. Only one week past, friends and family of my eldest female cousin, Megs, joined together in South Shore Tahoe to say good bye to her single days! Although I don’t consider myself a connoisseur of the south shore, I do consider myself a professional planner of good times no matter the destination.

With food and beverage in tow we headed up Friday afternoon for check in at the cabin. A quaint little home for ten, it was the perfect place to celebrate. We quickly settled in, decorated the house and prepared for our night on the town. Megs had selected this place called Fire & Ice near Heavenly (no offense Megs), but I was not terribly impressed. Quite honestly I was happy to walk out of there without food poisoning. The drinks, however, were perfectly strong and everyone was definitely ready to party and dance by our last trip to the buffet. From dinner we walked through the casinos, heading to our ultimate destination of Mont Bleu.

On our way there we ran into a couple friends from Folsom, as well as some new friends made during a random dance off. Distracted there we imbibed a couple shots while Megs downed her xth glass of Chardonnay. So classy. Finally, after the bride to be had tossed her last set of beads, we made our way to the club, Opal Lounge. Lucky for us, it was Ladies Night, which meant $10 cover and free unlimited cocktails. (Winning!) We danced our faces off until our feet were so soar I could barely make it to the cab line.

Saturday afternoon was filled with a whole lot of nothing. Sun bathing, a jacuzzi and movie classics from the 80′s and 90′s helped to pass the time. I was glad to see the girls resting up because despite the fact that we were staying in, I had a surprise named “Timothy” coming their way.

No bachelorette would be complete without a stripper, however this is my second experience booking a performer and both times I’ve been jipped! (See Sharon Says Shalom to Singledom).

See I ordered this 28-year old guy…

But instead, I got this 40-year old guy…(and yes, that’s tiger print with fringe.)

Despite the mix-up, the night was hilarious-fun and a great closeout to our weekend… Oh and in case you hate reading (lazyass) and just want to skip to the good stuff, here’s a quick video recap. Enjoy.


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SOSD II: Luisa’s Look on Love

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I’m assuming if you live in San Francisco, particularly in the hood, you’ve been to either Delaney’s or Notte …Or perhaps you know her from the 2007 lawsuits she faced after closing a well known establishment by the name of Johnny Barleycorns downtown. Her name is Luisa Hanson and she seems to have been around San Francisco as long as the Marina has been built on rubble.

Whether you’re a fan of her cuisine or can’t stand her code of business, you’ve got to admit, she’s got an interesting perspective on life and is always willing to share. New Year’s Eve of my senior year in college I fancied her bar, Notte, for an underage  hotspot with dancing, cocktails and a short line for the restroom.After I moved to the city it took only a couple of months to discover I in fact lived only two blocks from my NYE shitshow, as well as it’s accompanying restaurant, Luisa’s.

Both being Italian and enjoying a quiet night out I have found her flagship restaurant to be one of my local favorites, especially because you get to see what Luisa’s got new on the menu (and I’ve not talking about the entrees).

She is always ready to dish some advise…some of my favorites…”You so sweet. You best to move to the midwest. A man will appreciate you there.” or ”Why is she single? She’s stubborn, isn’t she? I like her.” or “She’s so pretty. She has a boyfriend, doesn’t she?” or my favorite, “You have big boobs. That intimidates men. That’s why you single.”

Recently we visited the restaurant for a nice dinner with some friends in town and ended up staying around for a couple hours to chat.

After a couple hours of yammering from Luisa about getting aggressive in our search for love we walked approximately 100 feet to the back bar Notte to find a man.

Shockingly enough I did meet a man that night. His name was Nick and he lived right here in the hood. Unfortunately it was several hours later I realized Nick was anything but single. I’m suspicious Luisa put him up to it, but I guess I’ll never know. I’m just thankful this one wasn’t married!

How to Crush Union Street Festival

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As you may have hard this year’s Union Street Festival was a dry one. After attending on Saturday afternoon I would call the whole thing an arts and crafts faire, however, despite the lack of rock and roll music and beer gardens, there were still plenty of drunken good times.

Here are a couple of my favorite Yelp reviews about the event (Yes, these are direct quotes):

  • Not even a monsoon could slow these Marina girls down.
  • Sorry for (1) Partying & having fun at a festival, (2) not being a grandma, and (3) living life a little.
  • The order of the day is booze, teriyaki chicken skewers, funnel cakes, and easy women. Dear Marina, please don’t ever change.
  • Not college age and yet we stayed for hours! I guess it’s just our love for SF, it’s neighborhoods and it helps we don’t live nearby!
  • This is only for people with no class or any kind of education.

As you can see, the event sounds completely like something my friends and I would absolutely LOVE! I don’t know if it was the rebellious air about the event, but everyone seemed to be out and ready to rage. After Mary and I celebrated a birthday with brunch at The Republic (delicious, BTW), we met up with the Sausage Prince at Perry’s. He was already five bloody’s and 2 shots deep. It was catch up time.

Walking through the festival we were instantly tempted by the bar in the window at Marengo. I though to myself, “This isn’t the usual set up, looks like fun!” Luckily we got in early and grabbed a table before the flood of people came pouring in. We ended up staying there the entire afternoon. The owner, Jim, was in a great mood since he had just proposed to our favorite waitress Leslie (and she said yes), so the drinks were pouring heavier than usual thanks to him. I, admittedly, enjoyed more Lemonade & Whiskey’s than I care to count…Not to mention the Fried Chicken Sliders on the side.

Over the course of the day all sorts of friends came in to join us…we had Folsom, Santa Clara and San Francisco alike cozied up to our table! Around 6pm we finally pussed out and headed to Betelnut for some dinner. At $50 a person I presume we devoured pretty much every item on the menu (sans seafood for me, of course).

Oh and thanks for Icing me at dinner Becky. Touche. (See more on Icing from Last Year’s Union Street)

From there we headed to Mauna Loa where we convinced some guy this hat represented the number of people we’d slept with…he was disgusted…we were in hysterics. (Oh and that’s a crazy wo-man standing behind me.)

After Marengo we crawled from Republic to Monaghans and finally to Patxis where we closed out the night with some chicago style pizza and a lot of sauvignon blanc.

Thanks to Union Street Festival and my ridiculous friends for another fantastic Saturday Faturday. We really crushed it.


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Another Happy Hour, Another Happy Ending

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Get your head out of the gutter…just because I’m out for cocktails at happy hour, doesn’t mean I’ve landed a happy ending in my boudoir. (Not to say the thought didn’t cross my mind.)

Aside, every couple of months my buddy Andy and I plan a gathering of friends, co-workers neighbors and family at a local pub for after work drinks. A couple Thursdays back we met up at Comstock Saloon with the crowd. After only about 20 minutes we realized despite how delicious and powerful Pisco Punch we were too many to stay at this location and had to make a last minute change to Kels (yes I said it).

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If you’re looking for your happy in San Francisco, check out some recommendations A to Z from your very own Eat, Drink & Be Mary:

From 5:30-7 it’s $10 for a flight of 3 wines of your choice.
Great specials Mon-Fri, 3-6:30 onwine, beer, cocktails, and food.
5-7 daily. Enjoy a dozen oysters for $12 and a pint of beer fr $2.50.
5-7 every night. $3 Guinness and all other draft beers are buy one get one free!
Although their food and drinks are definitely worth non happy hour prices, they tend to have specials Mon-Fri before 7pm. Usually there are some special cocktails and bar bites.
Take part in their awesome happy hour menu which includes many delicous Peruvian cocktails and dishes. Mon-Fri from 3-6.
Their various locations around SF have different happy hour deals on food and drinks. It’s definitely worth a look!
Ottimista
You can get $5 glasses of wine and well cocktails Tues-Fri, 4-6. They also have some delicious food specials.
5-7 every day. $5 apps and $5 glasses of red and white wine. $3 beers and $10 wine flights.
They have nightly specials Mon-Fri, 4-7.
Prospect
An assortment of happy hour priced cocktails and snacks Mon-Fri, 4-6
Solstice
$2 off of all drinks and select restaurant favorites food items Mon-Fri, 5-6:30
Their happy hour drink deals change nightly and are good between 4:30 and 6:30. Examples include $19 pitchers of margaritas and half price pitchers of Sangria.
Every night from 5:30 to 7pm enjoy their happy hour food menu and half off all bottles of wine!
$5 beer, wine champagne and well drinks. Also choose from some great appetizers like Shishito Peppers, Beef Kebabs, and Lobster Dumplings.

SOSD II: Singles aka “Cougars” Night at the Giants

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As we continue our efforts for Summer of Single Dudes, we recently purchased tickets to the Giants Singles Night Event in the hopes of finding Mr Right Now. With Jen in town from Chicago, the full crew was in tow, including Mary, Christie, Stina, Jen and myself. Despite it being a Wednesday night all of us had left work a little early to hit up the pre-party and cocktails before the game started at 7. The event was described as follows:

Ever meet someone great, think you might really like them, and then have to break things off because you find out they aren’t a Giants fan? We feel your pain. That won’t be a worry while you are mingling at the Giants popular Singles Night! Special event ticket holders receive a seat in the special Singles Night section for the game, admission to the pre-game singles party in scoreboard plaza from 5:15-7:15, and a voucher for one free beverage of your choice redeemable at the pre-game party. With eligible Giants fans from all over the Bay Area in attendance, you are sure to meet someone you have something in common with!

Sounds awesome, right? WRONG. While the game itself was great (until the Posey injury that is), the Singles event was a bust. We arrived shortly after it started and the set up wasn’t bad, right behind the Scoreboard next to the Margaritas stand. We ordered a couple glasses of a very heavily poured Sauvignon Blanc and headed to a table to check out the scene.

About the only thing we had in common with the other attendees was our love of the Giants. Aside from that, we didn’t share a sense of style, a birth year or decade for that matter, a zip code, taste in music, etc. The crowd was eclectic to say the least. We quickly realized we stuck out like a sort thumb and headed to our seats. We finished the game in the bleachers enjoying beer, ballpark cuisine and good company!

What’s Happening San Francisco?!

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As you all know San Francisco’s Union Street Festival is quickly approaching and this morning I heard some devastating news…THEY ARE BANNING ALCOHOL!

As if we’re living in 1957, when liquor and rock n roll were viewed as the devil, both the beer gardens and music tents will not be present at this year’s fair. SFist claims “Another battle lost in War on Fun.”

So now what I am supposed to do on Saturday, June 4?

So 9 Drink Tokens is Excessive: 2011 Beer & Oyster Festival

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Yes. “So nine drink tokens is excessive?” is the question I asked Mary after making my purchase at the start of Beer and Oyster Festival 2011. But before I get into what happened next…Let’s rewind and begin Friday evening, the night that reminded me I’m not 21 years old anymore…

Friday night started like any other, dinner and drinks with the girls. We decided to give Brixton another chance for a meal, so it was Christie, Mary, Blaire and I there for the evening. After a full feast of truffled deviled eggs, fried chicken salad and several John Daly’s, we headed to none other than the Mauna Loa to meet up with the crew.

Luckily I was able to continue my cocktail trend with John Daly’s, the Loa’s daily special, at $5 each. However, somewhere between Pop-a-Shot and a game of I’ve Never things got a little blurry. Next thing I know we’re in Doug’s new apartment, which featured awkwardly posed childhood photos of him, Mary and their cocker spaniel.

I’d like to think I was high and imagining such ridiculousness, but unfortunately I wasn’t. I heart Mary and Doug!

Next we headed to Fiddler’s Green for some dancing and flirting with post college-age men, or shall I say boys. The night quickly came to a close and the DJ was suddenly making last call. In an attempt to avoid Pier 39 cab mayhem, we walked up the street and away from the bar.

I know I sound like a total wuss, but after only a couple blocks my ankle was killing me (see Cinco de Mayo for details on that) and I separated from the group. I’m proud to say I’m incredibly crafty when it comes to poppin’ a squat and have friends good enough to pick me up in a cab before anyone caught onto my public indecency.

In the spirit of those at Fiddler’s we closed the night out at McEvoy’s after party back in the hood. What seemed like a throw back frat party, was a bunch of 30 year olds drinking bud light and cheap vodka crowded around a table of flip cup. After only ten minutes there, I was somehow drenched in beer and my new silk top was ripped right down the front. The silver lining? My hair had a phenomenal sheen Saturday morning. The downside? Explaining to Anna, my alterations he/she, how my top ended up split right down my cleavage.

After only a couple hours of sleep that night it was no surprise we were all running late and hungover for Beer & Oyster Festival Saturday morning…The day and the festival were amazing. I ultimately proved to Mary that nine drink tokens was not a good idea, it was a great idea! Enjoy…


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Drinko de Mayo…Mas Margaritas Por Favor

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I get it. It’s several weeks later. Quite honestly Cinco de Mayo was an amazing night, but outside of finally stepping foot in Marengo after my 27th birthday incident, nothing momentous really occurred. I would like to point out, however, Pier 23, has turned into our annual Cinco de Mayo celebration caliente spot!

And of course after several rounds of margaritas, we headed back to the hood…Shocking, but with these two on the side of the road, it took quite a while to catch a ride.

Unfortunately on my way into the bar, I somehow managed to roll my ankle and before we could hit up Union Street, I had to change into flats. FML.

From our apartment we arrived to Marengo, grabbed some whiskey at the bar and then several mini burgers and fries!

That night Christie had to hold me up as I hobbled home on my one good foot. Sadly no amount of margaritas or whiskey could make the pain go away…but I did put my best foot forward. (Ha! Get it?!)

 

SOSD 2011: The Search for Mr. Right Now

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You may or may not recall but last summer my girlfriends and I launched an epic manhunt for the perfect Mr. Right Now, known as Summer of Single Dudes, commonly referred to as SOSD. While I admit those months were filled with new friends and good times, I was a bit unavailable during that time since I was secretly dating someone on the side.

SIDE NOTE: The details behind my “under the falafel wraps” relationship will surely be shared at some point, but trust me…it’s pages worth of story and now isn’t the time.

Aside, this past weekend, now that I’m truthfully single, we decided to launch a second season. After the success of our weekend in Carmel last year (Part I and Part II), we couldn’t possibly think of a better place to kick off SOSD than Carmel.

With Jen back in Chicago this year, this SOSD trip featured only the three amigas, Mary, Christie and myself. With Mary’s recommendations on eateries AND last year’s suite booked again at The Fireplace Inn (and yes, each room is as over-the-top themed as this one), we knew this weekend would prove to be nothing short of ridiculous.

Thrilled to have my new convertible, who has been poignantly named “Sergeant Pepper” for his nod to the British Beatles and Pepper White exterior, we drove the entire route to and from Carmel with our top off. We even brought a plethora of hats and scarves, both socially acceptable and unacceptable…

Once we arrived in Carmel, we immediately got into our evening garb and hit up the Inn at Spanish Bay to sit outside and indulge in some appetizers and cocktails. Although it was absolutely freezing, we cuddled up with a blanket and an Irish Coffee and enjoyed the sounds of a bagpiper in the distance.

 

While devouring our delicious thai egg rolls AND the beautiful sunset, we were rudely interrupted by a relentless seagull, who flew down, wing span brushing Mary’s face, and stole our last egg roll. “BITCHES!” I exclaimed! While I missed the action shot, I did get this one of Mary momentarily after the attack…(And no. I don’t know what Mary was wearing on her head.)

Once things got too chilly (or perhaps we were shamed by the emberassment of my yelling bitches) we ended up inside the hotel, mingling with the guests and chefs of the Carmel Food and Wine Festival. We ended up talking with the sous chef for Guy Fieri, who turned out to be just as big of a douche bag as Guy himself. Ick. After this awkward encounter, we realized there were nothing but old men (to Christie’s liking only), so we headed back to Carmel by the Sea for dinner downtown.

I think Forge In The Forrest was delicious, but to be honest I had imbibed several cocktails at this point and the darkness of their outdoor patio was surely darker than was intended. After our prosciutto wrapped prawns, broiled artichokes, and filet mignon had been consumed, we decidedly headed to our old stake out, Brophy’s to close out the night.

Not surprising both the bartender and owner of Brophy’s remembered us from the year prior and promptly served us several strong cocktails, including a Captain n’ Coke, 7&& and Margarita. We sat at the center of the bar playing F$%& the Dealer and judging our surroundings intently…

Sitting just behind us were four locals, three guys and a girl, who after declining our invitation to join us for a round of cards, inquired about borrowing my camera. Without a second thought I handed them my iPhone and watched them take several ridiculous photos of one another. After returning Rick Suave IV (that’s the name of my iPhone), I provided them my “Dignity” Business Card and requested they check back in a week because I would be posting their photos here. (See example below.)

Not sure why, but for whatever reason my smartass response enticed them. Next thing I knew I was locked out of my hotel room and was getting into the car with two of our new “friends.” Fast forward to the next morning when I sent the following text to Mary at 5:49am: “Hey. I think we’re in the same house. Don’t forget me if you leave!!”

Over the course of the next couple of hours Mary and I awaited Christie’s ride back to our hotel in this stranger’s home. While wandering throughout the house, we discovered our new friends’ obsession with the Giants, including an adorable Christmas Tree adorned with handmade Giants Jerseys. Creepy and yet endearing all at the same time.

Tim Lincecum and Cody Ross (as they will be named for their giant Giants fandemonium) had work early that morning and little patience to deal with our antics. Finally around 7am Christie and the Eagle show up to find Mary, Tim and I cuddled up for a catnap while in a complete state of hermekey. Shockingly, this was the least awkward moment of the AM.

We got back to the hotel and anxiously awaited the continental breakfast buffet, afterall we needed a good base for our Carmel Valley Wine Tasting.

That afternoon we were chauffeured by Gary, who in his past life directed The Phil Donahue Show, but was now a personal driver to the stars of Carmel, including Kate Spade, Michael Kors and Doris Day. (I have no idea where Mary found this guy.)

We hit up Corkscrew for lunch then to Boekenoogen, Parsonage, & Boete for tastings. Per usual Christie joined a wine club while Mary and I basked in her new member discount.

    

That night we went to Dametra’s Cafe (Check Out their Facebook Page. It’s ridiculous.) where we enjoyed the company of several middle eastern men and delicious Greek cuisine. Christie even got up for a belly dance!

By Saturday night things had quieted down for us, with the exception of Christie who had found herself a partner during the belly dance…By Sunday morning the three of us awoke, exhausted and ready for the long haul back to reality in San Francisco.

We stopped along the way for brunch downtown, then to Capitola for a daiquiri and some sun at Zelda’s. We got back to the city around 5pm that night…All in all, not too shabby of a kick off to SOSD 2011.