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SOSD 2011: The Search for Mr. Right Now

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You may or may not recall but last summer my girlfriends and I launched an epic manhunt for the perfect Mr. Right Now, known as Summer of Single Dudes, commonly referred to as SOSD. While I admit those months were filled with new friends and good times, I was a bit unavailable during that time since I was secretly dating someone on the side.

SIDE NOTE: The details behind my “under the falafel wraps” relationship will surely be shared at some point, but trust me…it’s pages worth of story and now isn’t the time.

Aside, this past weekend, now that I’m truthfully single, we decided to launch a second season. After the success of our weekend in Carmel last year (Part I and Part II), we couldn’t possibly think of a better place to kick off SOSD than Carmel.

With Jen back in Chicago this year, this SOSD trip featured only the three amigas, Mary, Christie and myself. With Mary’s recommendations on eateries AND last year’s suite booked again at The Fireplace Inn (and yes, each room is as over-the-top themed as this one), we knew this weekend would prove to be nothing short of ridiculous.

Thrilled to have my new convertible, who has been poignantly named “Sergeant Pepper” for his nod to the British Beatles and Pepper White exterior, we drove the entire route to and from Carmel with our top off. We even brought a plethora of hats and scarves, both socially acceptable and unacceptable…

Once we arrived in Carmel, we immediately got into our evening garb and hit up the Inn at Spanish Bay to sit outside and indulge in some appetizers and cocktails. Although it was absolutely freezing, we cuddled up with a blanket and an Irish Coffee and enjoyed the sounds of a bagpiper in the distance.

 

While devouring our delicious thai egg rolls AND the beautiful sunset, we were rudely interrupted by a relentless seagull, who flew down, wing span brushing Mary’s face, and stole our last egg roll. “BITCHES!” I exclaimed! While I missed the action shot, I did get this one of Mary momentarily after the attack…(And no. I don’t know what Mary was wearing on her head.)

Once things got too chilly (or perhaps we were shamed by the emberassment of my yelling bitches) we ended up inside the hotel, mingling with the guests and chefs of the Carmel Food and Wine Festival. We ended up talking with the sous chef for Guy Fieri, who turned out to be just as big of a douche bag as Guy himself. Ick. After this awkward encounter, we realized there were nothing but old men (to Christie’s liking only), so we headed back to Carmel by the Sea for dinner downtown.

I think Forge In The Forrest was delicious, but to be honest I had imbibed several cocktails at this point and the darkness of their outdoor patio was surely darker than was intended. After our prosciutto wrapped prawns, broiled artichokes, and filet mignon had been consumed, we decidedly headed to our old stake out, Brophy’s to close out the night.

Not surprising both the bartender and owner of Brophy’s remembered us from the year prior and promptly served us several strong cocktails, including a Captain n’ Coke, 7&& and Margarita. We sat at the center of the bar playing F$%& the Dealer and judging our surroundings intently…

Sitting just behind us were four locals, three guys and a girl, who after declining our invitation to join us for a round of cards, inquired about borrowing my camera. Without a second thought I handed them my iPhone and watched them take several ridiculous photos of one another. After returning Rick Suave IV (that’s the name of my iPhone), I provided them my “Dignity” Business Card and requested they check back in a week because I would be posting their photos here. (See example below.)

Not sure why, but for whatever reason my smartass response enticed them. Next thing I knew I was locked out of my hotel room and was getting into the car with two of our new “friends.” Fast forward to the next morning when I sent the following text to Mary at 5:49am: “Hey. I think we’re in the same house. Don’t forget me if you leave!!”

Over the course of the next couple of hours Mary and I awaited Christie’s ride back to our hotel in this stranger’s home. While wandering throughout the house, we discovered our new friends’ obsession with the Giants, including an adorable Christmas Tree adorned with handmade Giants Jerseys. Creepy and yet endearing all at the same time.

Tim Lincecum and Cody Ross (as they will be named for their giant Giants fandemonium) had work early that morning and little patience to deal with our antics. Finally around 7am Christie and the Eagle show up to find Mary, Tim and I cuddled up for a catnap while in a complete state of hermekey. Shockingly, this was the least awkward moment of the AM.

We got back to the hotel and anxiously awaited the continental breakfast buffet, afterall we needed a good base for our Carmel Valley Wine Tasting.

That afternoon we were chauffeured by Gary, who in his past life directed The Phil Donahue Show, but was now a personal driver to the stars of Carmel, including Kate Spade, Michael Kors and Doris Day. (I have no idea where Mary found this guy.)

We hit up Corkscrew for lunch then to Boekenoogen, Parsonage, & Boete for tastings. Per usual Christie joined a wine club while Mary and I basked in her new member discount.

    

That night we went to Dametra’s Cafe (Check Out their Facebook Page. It’s ridiculous.) where we enjoyed the company of several middle eastern men and delicious Greek cuisine. Christie even got up for a belly dance!

By Saturday night things had quieted down for us, with the exception of Christie who had found herself a partner during the belly dance…By Sunday morning the three of us awoke, exhausted and ready for the long haul back to reality in San Francisco.

We stopped along the way for brunch downtown, then to Capitola for a daiquiri and some sun at Zelda’s. We got back to the city around 5pm that night…All in all, not too shabby of a kick off to SOSD 2011.

Eat, Drink and Be Mary: Carmel, Including the Valley

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Carmel, including the Valley, has been since I was a child, and continues to be one of my most favorite towns in all of California.

Carmel-by-the-Sea A picturesque town with fun for all ages and interests.

Carmel Beach City Park
One of the most beautiful beaches I’ve ever been to. With breathtaking views of Pebble Beach, this is hard to beat. It’s a really fun to walk the length of it. You can even walk up to the golf course. It’s also dog friendly.

Carmel River State Beach
One of the quieter beaches in Carmel but just as breathtaking as the others.

San Carlos Borromeo de Carmelo Mission
This is a beautiful old Mission not too far from downtown that is worth a visit if you have some time.

Carmel Mission Ranch
Restaurant in inn owned by none other than Clint Eastwood. This is one of my favorite dinner spots. They have a nice deck with views of sheep grazing, Point Lobos, and the Pacific. They do have heat lamps but I suggest dressing with layers if you want to sit outside. The bar here is fun as well. They often have live jazz music.

Demetra Cafe
I have enjoyed many joyful dinners here. The restaurant is tiny and family owned. Be sure to make a reservation. The Greek cusisine is delicious and decently affordable. The waitstaff are ridiculously friendly and fun. They are all family and friends from Greece. The chef, a rather old Greek man, has come out of the kitchen to play music every time I’ve eaten here. The waiters all sing along and one time they even got a friend of mine up and dancing.

The Forge in the Forest
Affordable American fare in a great atmosphere. Nice wine and beer selction as well and the bar is usually lively as well. I’ve never actually eaten sitting inside because the outdoor seating is so cute and they have plenty of heat lamps and a big fire pit that seem to keep it warm on a really foggy day. They usually have some sort of live music on weekend nights which is a fun bonus.

Casanova
To date this is my all time favorite restaurants. It’s pricey and definitely occasion worthy but it is such a wonderful and blissful dining experience you have to go. You do have to do a pre-fixe coursed meal but there are plenty of options. Their gnocchi appetizer is the best I have ever had. The restaurant is set in an old home that has been transformed into a rambling precious dining rooms that make you feel at home in the French country side. Complete with Lavender bundles for sale out front. The story behind the building is actually really neat. It was purchased through an estate sale and the 90 year old woman who had lived in it prior for over 50 years and was at one time a personal cook for Charlie Chaplin.

Brophy’s Tavern
This is typically where I like to end the night with a beer or two. Nice, low-key Irish sports bar kind of off the beaten path.

Carmel Valley One perfect way to spend an afternoon is to head into Carmel Valley. This is an especially nice place to go if there is thick fog on the coast, as the fog tends to clear from the valley first. The weather can be a night and day difference from downtown Carmel to Carmel Valley. In Carmel Valley you will find many wineries, restaurants, art galleries, and some nice hiking trails. Here are my favorite places to visit in the Valley.

Garland Ranch Regional Park
Beautiful state park in Carmel Valley with many beautiful hiking trails. This park is dog and horse friendly and has trails for all different levels of hikers.

Baja Cantina
Lively Mexican restaurant with great food and delicious margaritas. Really a fun place for a nice casual dinner. Their Carnitas is so good!

Corkscrew Café
An absolute must stop. My favorite is to come here for lunch because their outdoor seating area is divine. The food is top notch, the wine selection is huge, and the service is extremely friendly. This restaurant, if I’m not mistaken, is owned by the same people who own the winery Georis and the Georis tasting room is actually on the same property as the restaurant. Corckscrew Café is honestly a little slice of heaven.

Georis
I cannot visit this winery without buying quite a bit of wine. I love their Rose, which they produce only a limited amount of so if you happen to stumble upon it in stock, you’re lucky. I love their various white wines as well as many of the reds, particularly the Merlot even though I’m not necessarily a Merlot fan. Most of the wines are affordable. Their tasting room is adorable and they have picturesque outdoor seating as well. They also sell a nice selection of books and various gifty items. This winery is not to be missed.

Heller Estate Organic Vineyards
Nice organic winery with nice wines and cheap tasting prices! I’m pretty sure the last time I was there they were charging $5 for 8 tasting. I’m all about a good deal and I remember they waived the tasting fee because I bought a bottle.

Talbott Vineyards
Another must stop. Adorable tasting room and they make some really outstanding wines. Their prices are relatively affordable.

 


So He is Single…Carmel Part II

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Onto Carmel…day two and three. See Carmel Part I for day one.

Once we had escaped being kicked out of our Carmel family inn, we headed into the valley for some yummy brunch at Corkscrew Cafe.

Not only was the food delicious, but so was the service. Sean and Dustin were our servers…They were hilarious. They looked twelve years old, but apparently it was only their innocence that kept them looking so young. Well that and their rosey cheeks.

We finished our ‘Ladies Who Lunch” luncheon and popped down the street to Talbott and Georis wineries.

The atmosphere for tastings was beautiful and the company was pretty fantastic as well .

At Talbott we met two adorable couples from Los Angeles. The ladies were sisters and despite both being grandmothers they looked 25. They sat and talked with us for a while offering advice on beautiful skin, local wineries and of course, how to find true love.

At Georis we met Bear, a musician from South Carolina who currently holds the Guinness Book of World Records for finger tapping. He had a snaggle tooth, southern accent and sweet sense of humor. Check him out:


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We had finished up in the Valley and headed back to the hotel. We quickly refreshed and headed out for a late dinner. Unfortunately we didn’t make a reservation at the restaurant Dametra’s, so we put in our name, dropped off our Georis and Talbott wine and headed to Il Fornaio for a couple cocktails in the meantime.

At Il Fornaio we met “B” a bartender who had been working there for over 15 years. Quite entertaining and made one mean pomegranate margarita.

Over the course of the next hour we attempted to hit on a table of men who had obviously just returned from a game of golf. We created a diagram to determine who was single and who was married. Alas. No luck. Again.

After hugging “B” goodbye we headed back over to Dametra’s for some outstanding food, singing, dancing and good times. The restaurant is run by a family of Greek men (i.e. cousins, brothers, grandfather, etc). I emphasize the word family because I felt like it was actually just a group of friends who shared a common interest of good food and good women. We were attended to by at least five male waiters, serenaded by their grandfather and danced adored by a table of Arabic drummers. An interesting experience to say the least.

We finished up our final course and headed back to Brophy’s for Round II. We entered the bar to find all the locals and workers knew us by name. I even got a talking to again by the owner, Chris, about keeping it PG tonight. We dropped off the bottle of wine we didn’t consume at dinner behind the bar and bellied up to a table in the corner next to two hawt single dudes, who I shall call Folsom and Sven.

Folsom and Sven didn’t seem terribly interested at first, however, after joining us for a drink, their attitudes quickly adjusted. Christie pretty quickly decided Sven was heres, despite Jen’s tentative interest. Mary chatted up Folsom, however he was suffering from a recent broken heart and didn’t care too much to take any females serious. With Mary and Christie distracted, Jen and I wandered the other 10 square feet of the bar for any newbies.

Unfortunately there were no newbies, instead  the wedding party from the night before turned up, including Robert. He quickly approached me, stuck his hand inappropriately down my shirt and began making out with me. Chris, the bar owner, quickly reminded us to keep it PG. Robert then decided it was probably a good idea to go back to my hotel room. I agreed.

So I walked over to the table with Sven, Christie, Folsom and Mary to grab my coat. I explained to them my plan and everyone seemed to be in agreement that it was an excellent idea. On my way back to Robert I stopped to talk with this dude who I shall call Tin Cup. Tin Cup was a movie producer from LA who was sitting in the bar with an oversized pair of headphones choosing music for his upcoming movie. He couldn’t tell me what the name of it was but described it as follows:

“It’s a story about a war veteran who comes back to play professional golf. He comes to Carmel, meets a lady and rebuilds his life. Oh and it’s starring Kevin Costner.”

I responded by asking, “Didn’t they already make that movie? It’s called Tin Cup.” He did not think this was clever. He went on to make ridiculous statements like..

“If you don’t have money, you can never be happy.”

“I’m dating a japanese princess. She’s a direct descendant of the emperor. In our spare time she and I run a dog grooming business called Pretty Doggies.”

“Don’t call me sweetheart. My name is ____. Don’t ever call me a pet name again.”

I seriously couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried. The true downside of this conversation, outside of feeling dumber, was that Robert thought I was flirting with this 52 year old douche and left the bar giving me a dirty look. So much for going back to the hotel room. So instead the girls and I finished up our cocktails and silently headed back to our hotel room.

Sunday morning we woke up, snuck out of the hotel room and headed over to Big Sur to have brunch at Nepenthe. I was pretty sure Jen and Christie were going to vomit on the windy 30-minute drive. Especially when I started singing showtunes. But we made it there free and clear. No Sunday Funday lunch would do without a refreshing cocktail, especially if daiquiris are on the menu!

The day ended with a long drive back to San Francisco. Lola, wine and dignity in tow…

A great kick off to the Summer of Single Dudes.

But He Said He Was Divorced…Carmel Part I

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As I may have previously mentioned, I have deemed the coming months to be the “Summer of Single Dudes” or more commonly known as SOSD. It’s a sort of unorganized-organization, made up of my single girlfriends and I. Our objective? To meet single dudes and some might even say, fall in love. (Well probably more likely to just have a couple of hot flings, but to sound classy we’ve added the whole lovey-dovey aspect.)

SIDE NOTE: The concept of SOSD surfaced over the last couple of months as my single girlfriends and I realized in order to meeting single guys, we were best off doing so only when with other single girls. See unlike the common male, females who are in a serious relationships give off a vibe wreaking of the words, “Don’t even bother. I’m taken.” Men, however, whether married, engaged or dating always seem available. So much to our couple friends’ dismay, we begin planning activities without them.

The first event, and launch of the SOSD, was a weekend getaway to Carmel, Ca. Now you’re probably asking yourself, why Carmel? What I discovered at a recent wedding in this beautiful town is that dudes (and not ladies) are crawling all over this place. They’re visiting for bachelor parties, golf trips, wedding parties and more. The best part? There is only one bar in all of downtown Carmel open until 2am, making Brophy’s Tavern, the secret hiding haven for single dudes. (Well, I guess it’s not a secret anymore).

So I strategically booked our stay at Fireside Inn, which is directly across the street from Brophy’s and only two blocks from the downtown drag, Ocean Avenue. Christie, Jen and Mary in tow we headed down Friday evening for two jam packed days of full of debauchery.

Friday night Mary and I were the first of the four to hit up Brophy’s (late start). We begin with a 7&7 and an interactive card game commonly known as King’s Cup.

SIDE NOTE: Notice below the cards appear to be see-through. In reality these were waterproof. Perfect for bar, beach or children. (By the end of the night these were all over the place. The owner, Chris, claimed to have made an attempt to collect them and gave up half way through…)

Christie and Jen joined soon after…The night goes on and several groups of single dudes are now hanging out at the bar. A couple dudes specifically engage with us in conversation. I shall call them Jeff, Leonard and Robert and they were being pursued by Christie, Jen and myself accordingly. PS by 11pm Mary peaced out and passed out back in our hotel room with Lola.

The rest of the evening becomes a little blurry, but here are a couple quick highlights:

1. Christie gets in an argument with Jeff over gay marriage. She is pro and he is not. This, however, could not possibly have been a surprise to her considering he had come to the bar after a full day of hunting. WTF?

2. Jen has a hawt makeout session with Leonard who, later that night asks she join him for a viewing of the lunar eclipse happening around 3am. Creepy! (PS He proceeded to call/text her over the next couple of days, saying things like “I thought we had chemistry?!”)

3. Robert and I proceed to kiss as if we were in the seventh grade in a dark movie theatre, but we are nearly thirty and sitting at a bar. The bartender reminded us to keep it PG. We did our best.

1. Robert is with a wedding party and the groom shares with me he is upset because he never made it to a strip club for his bachelor party. I feel terrible about this and decide to flash him in the hopes it will make all better. I think it helped.

So as the bar closed the boys walked us back to our hotel (directly across the street) where Jen and I proceed to get in a heated discussion about absolutely nothing important. The boys leave, but Jen and I proceed to continue talking outside of our hotel room, whereby a hotel guest starts yelling profanity at me. I react by yelling back, “Are you serious?” For some crazy reason I thought they were in the wrong, not me. Ridiculous. Thereafter we get into our room, I cuddle up with Lola and we go to sleep.

The next morning we woke up at 8am to make it to the Continental breakfast. We feast on free bagels and muffins and then head back to bed until 12noon. We failed to remember, however, we had told the hotel there were only two of us staying in the hotel, and yet there were four who grabbed some grub. Around 12:30pm that morning/afternoon, I had to explain to the front desk that there were only two of us, the other two were staying at the nearby Best Western and the noise the night before was not us whoring ourselves out, but rather a funny talking to between good friends. This was one of the most awkward conversations I’ve ever had.

Oh and at this point in the morning we decide the crest placed strategically above our hotel room’s fireplace, is now our SOSD emblem…

Night #1 is complete…On to Day and Evening #2. I couldn’t possibly imagine things getting any crazier, but I live to be surprised…Carmel Part II coming soon…

Michelle Gets Married and I Get S-Faced

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First of all congratulations to Michelle. She was such a beautiful bride and it was such a beautiful ceremony.

I’d like say thank you to Michelle. Michelle, thank you for breaking my month long streak of sobriety. Not sure what put me in such a funk, but celebrating your nuptial bliss with some of my most favorite people seemed to pull me right out of the darkness.

The wedding was in Carmel, one of my most favorite weekend getaways. I was staying in an adorable little hotel with Lauren, Kasey, Crispin and Forrest. (Yes, there were five of us in one room, but it had three beds.) Lauren had apparently just googled the hotel closest to the reception at the best price. I’m, however, still convinced she strategically planned it to be next to the only bar in Carmel open until 2am: Brophys. Nice work Lo.

As soon as we got into town Kasey, Lauren and I headed over to Brophy’s for a drink. I was hoping to start slow, but Lauren ordered me a Long Island. Damn her.

After several cocktails the wedding party showed up post rehearsal dinner.

As you can see, Lauren, Kasey and I had enjoyed one too many Long Islands and I was heading towards a very bad decision.

I failed to mention that Brophy’s is most definitely a male dominated bar. In fact, besides the two cougars in cheetah print, we were the only females there. Upon walking into the bar, there was one group of men in particular, a golf weekend getaway for them, who looked to be a good time. “Ricky Jones” as I will call him, had instantly caught my attention…mmm…chocolate.

We talked for quite some time…He was some sort of youth officer…I don’t recall much more than liars dice and shots. But by the end of the night I had collected more than just a couple of free cocktails. I had in my possession one very important piece of collateral: his hotel room key. (Notice how “sotally tober” I look in this photo.)

Despite my girlfriends being in the mostest drunken stupor, their reaction went something like this…

Now stop judging me…I wasn’t actually going to do it. It’s the thrill of the chase, not the actual conquest. Give me a break…I do have some class. (Some being the operative word.) I gave him back the key and the girls and I went back to our own hotel room. There I enjoyed some delicious cupcakes…chocolate cupcakes that is…teeheehee…

Coincidentally the next night we ran into the same group of guys and it turns out “Ricky Jones” was married. What a sleaze! He wasn’t even wearing a wedding ring! Some guys are so ridiculously gross.

……

The rest of the weekend was fantastic. Saturday and Sunday brunching. An amazing afternoon wedding on the beach. And most importantly, good times with great friends…

Quotes of the Weekend:

  • Kasey: “What does Walmart smell like?” Crispin: “Kmart.” Kasey: “What does Kmart smell like?” Crispin: “Poverty.”
  • Kasey: “The back piercing (which she sports). It brings in the men. I just can’t guarantee the caliber of those men.”
  • Anonymous: “The last guy I dated…I finally convinced to let me stick my finder in his ass.” Me: “Congratulations. I see you’re still really classy.”
  • Me: “And his name was Ricky Jones. Seriously.”
  • Me: “Why do you drive such a big truck?” Courtney: “Cause if you’re gonna be a bear, might as well be a grizzly.”
  • Anonymous: “His hands are as big as Colorado. He’s one tall glass of water.”