Summer of Single Dudes has proven to be quite successful. Aside from meeting several men to pursue, we’ve met a whole lot of random people all on the eternal pursuit of fun and good times…
As you know from the launch of SOSD the goal has been to find creative ways (aka not just going to the bars) to meet eligible bachelors. We’ve been to Tahoe, Carmel and all sorts of new venues within the city limits in our search….One of my most favorite locations was right here in our backyard aka the Mission Theatre. Here Mary and I saw “Much Ado About Lebowski” as writ by William Shakespeare; an adaption of an adaption of a parody of a farce. Quite hilarious.
After we enjoyed several rounds of white russians and the banter of an adorable San Francisco married couple, we met up with Blaire and her older sister (technically it’s Blaire’s mom, but she doesn’t look it) at the Brickyard.
It was actually nice to have a mom around…She was great at giving advice on which guys to pursue and which not to… To my recollection she was not, however, a fan of Tony, but I was!
Once Blaire’s mom decided it was time to call it a night, we left The Brickyard and headed over to Mauna Loa to meet up with some other friends (and family)…
I know there were a lot more people at the bar that night, too many to count. And I’m pretty sure a lot of craziness went on around me, but somehow I managed to avoid almost all of them. See I ended up with a seat at a table of strangers, excluding Doug who I do know, playing round after round of cards.
I showed them my waterproof camera and my playing cards, at which point, one of the random girls at the table commented on my admiration of drinking games as demonstrated by my preparation with waterproof gadgets. Bitch puh-lease.
Despite her sassy attitude we continued on with card games until the end of the night…Ridiculous.
Onto Carmel…day two and three. See Carmel Part I for day one.
Once we had escaped being kicked out of our Carmel family inn, we headed into the valley for some yummy brunch at Corkscrew Cafe.
Not only was the food delicious, but so was the service. Sean and Dustin were our servers…They were hilarious. They looked twelve years old, but apparently it was only their innocence that kept them looking so young. Well that and their rosey cheeks.
We finished our ‘Ladies Who Lunch” luncheon and popped down the street to Talbott and Georis wineries.
The atmosphere for tastings was beautiful and the company was pretty fantastic as well .
At Talbott we met two adorable couples from Los Angeles. The ladies were sisters and despite both being grandmothers they looked 25. They sat and talked with us for a while offering advice on beautiful skin, local wineries and of course, how to find true love.
At Georis we met Bear, a musician from South Carolina who currently holds the Guinness Book of World Records for finger tapping. He had a snaggle tooth, southern accent and sweet sense of humor. Check him out:
We had finished up in the Valley and headed back to the hotel. We quickly refreshed and headed out for a late dinner. Unfortunately we didn’t make a reservation at the restaurant Dametra’s, so we put in our name, dropped off our Georis and Talbott wine and headed to Il Fornaio for a couple cocktails in the meantime.
At Il Fornaio we met “B” a bartender who had been working there for over 15 years. Quite entertaining and made one mean pomegranate margarita.
Over the course of the next hour we attempted to hit on a table of men who had obviously just returned from a game of golf. We created a diagram to determine who was single and who was married. Alas. No luck. Again.
After hugging “B” goodbye we headed back over to Dametra’s for some outstanding food, singing, dancing and good times. The restaurant is run by a family of Greek men (i.e. cousins, brothers, grandfather, etc). I emphasize the word family because I felt like it was actually just a group of friends who shared a common interest of good food and good women. We were attended to by at least five male waiters, serenaded by their grandfather and danced adored by a table of Arabic drummers. An interesting experience to say the least.
We finished up our final course and headed back to Brophy’s for Round II. We entered the bar to find all the locals and workers knew us by name. I even got a talking to again by the owner, Chris, about keeping it PG tonight. We dropped off the bottle of wine we didn’t consume at dinner behind the bar and bellied up to a table in the corner next to two hawt single dudes, who I shall call Folsom and Sven.
Folsom and Sven didn’t seem terribly interested at first, however, after joining us for a drink, their attitudes quickly adjusted. Christie pretty quickly decided Sven was heres, despite Jen’s tentative interest. Mary chatted up Folsom, however he was suffering from a recent broken heart and didn’t care too much to take any females serious. With Mary and Christie distracted, Jen and I wandered the other 10 square feet of the bar for any newbies.
Unfortunately there were no newbies, instead the wedding party from the night before turned up, including Robert. He quickly approached me, stuck his hand inappropriately down my shirt and began making out with me. Chris, the bar owner, quickly reminded us to keep it PG. Robert then decided it was probably a good idea to go back to my hotel room. I agreed.
So I walked over to the table with Sven, Christie, Folsom and Mary to grab my coat. I explained to them my plan and everyone seemed to be in agreement that it was an excellent idea. On my way back to Robert I stopped to talk with this dude who I shall call Tin Cup. Tin Cup was a movie producer from LA who was sitting in the bar with an oversized pair of headphones choosing music for his upcoming movie. He couldn’t tell me what the name of it was but described it as follows:
“It’s a story about a war veteran who comes back to play professional golf. He comes to Carmel, meets a lady and rebuilds his life. Oh and it’s starring Kevin Costner.”
I responded by asking, “Didn’t they already make that movie? It’s called Tin Cup.” He did not think this was clever. He went on to make ridiculous statements like..
“If you don’t have money, you can never be happy.”
“I’m dating a japanese princess. She’s a direct descendant of the emperor. In our spare time she and I run a dog grooming business called Pretty Doggies.”
“Don’t call me sweetheart. My name is ____. Don’t ever call me a pet name again.”
I seriously couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried. The true downside of this conversation, outside of feeling dumber, was that Robert thought I was flirting with this 52 year old douche and left the bar giving me a dirty look. So much for going back to the hotel room. So instead the girls and I finished up our cocktails and silently headed back to our hotel room.
Sunday morning we woke up, snuck out of the hotel room and headed over to Big Sur to have brunch at Nepenthe. I was pretty sure Jen and Christie were going to vomit on the windy 30-minute drive. Especially when I started singing showtunes. But we made it there free and clear. No Sunday Funday lunch would do without a refreshing cocktail, especially if daiquiris are on the menu!
The day ended with a long drive back to San Francisco. Lola, wine and dignity in tow…
As I may have previously mentioned, I have deemed the coming months to be the “Summer of Single Dudes” or more commonly known as SOSD. It’s a sort of unorganized-organization, made up of my single girlfriends and I. Our objective? To meet single dudes and some might even say, fall in love. (Well probably more likely to just have a couple of hot flings, but to sound classy we’ve added the whole lovey-dovey aspect.)
SIDE NOTE: The concept of SOSD surfaced over the last couple of months as my single girlfriends and I realized in order to meeting single guys, we were best off doing so only when with other single girls. See unlike the common male, females who are in a serious relationships give off a vibe wreaking of the words, “Don’t even bother. I’m taken.” Men, however, whether married, engaged or dating always seem available. So much to our couple friends’ dismay, we begin planning activities without them.
The first event, and launch of the SOSD, was a weekend getaway to Carmel, Ca. Now you’re probably asking yourself, why Carmel? What I discovered at a recent wedding in this beautiful town is that dudes (and not ladies) are crawling all over this place. They’re visiting for bachelor parties, golf trips, wedding parties and more. The best part? There is only one bar in all of downtown Carmel open until 2am, making Brophy’s Tavern, the secret hiding haven for single dudes. (Well, I guess it’s not a secret anymore).
So I strategically booked our stay at Fireside Inn, which is directly across the street from Brophy’s and only two blocks from the downtown drag, Ocean Avenue. Christie, Jen and Mary in tow we headed down Friday evening for two jam packed days of full of debauchery.
Friday night Mary and I were the first of the four to hit up Brophy’s (late start). We begin with a 7&7 and an interactive card game commonly known as King’s Cup.
SIDE NOTE: Notice below the cards appear to be see-through. In reality these were waterproof. Perfect for bar, beach or children. (By the end of the night these were all over the place. The owner, Chris, claimed to have made an attempt to collect them and gave up half way through…)
Christie and Jen joined soon after…The night goes on and several groups of single dudes are now hanging out at the bar. A couple dudes specifically engage with us in conversation. I shall call them Jeff, Leonard and Robert and they were being pursued by Christie, Jen and myself accordingly. PS by 11pm Mary peaced out and passed out back in our hotel room with Lola.
The rest of the evening becomes a little blurry, but here are a couple quick highlights:
1. Christie gets in an argument with Jeff over gay marriage. She is pro and he is not. This, however, could not possibly have been a surprise to her considering he had come to the bar after a full day of hunting. WTF?
2. Jen has a hawt makeout session with Leonard who, later that night asks she join him for a viewing of the lunar eclipse happening around 3am. Creepy! (PS He proceeded to call/text her over the next couple of days, saying things like “I thought we had chemistry?!”)
3. Robert and I proceed to kiss as if we were in the seventh grade in a dark movie theatre, but we are nearly thirty and sitting at a bar. The bartender reminded us to keep it PG. We did our best.
1. Robert is with a wedding party and the groom shares with me he is upset because he never made it to a strip club for his bachelor party. I feel terrible about this and decide to flash him in the hopes it will make all better. I think it helped.
So as the bar closed the boys walked us back to our hotel (directly across the street) where Jen and I proceed to get in a heated discussion about absolutely nothing important. The boys leave, but Jen and I proceed to continue talking outside of our hotel room, whereby a hotel guest starts yelling profanity at me. I react by yelling back, “Are you serious?” For some crazy reason I thought they were in the wrong, not me. Ridiculous. Thereafter we get into our room, I cuddle up with Lola and we go to sleep.
The next morning we woke up at 8am to make it to the Continental breakfast. We feast on free bagels and muffins and then head back to bed until 12noon. We failed to remember, however, we had told the hotel there were only two of us staying in the hotel, and yet there were four who grabbed some grub. Around 12:30pm that morning/afternoon, I had to explain to the front desk that there were only two of us, the other two were staying at the nearby Best Western and the noise the night before was not us whoring ourselves out, but rather a funny talking to between good friends. This was one of the most awkward conversations I’ve ever had.
Oh and at this point in the morning we decide the crest placed strategically above our hotel room’s fireplace, is now our SOSD emblem…
Night #1 is complete…On to Day and Evening #2. I couldn’t possibly imagine things getting any crazier, but I live to be surprised…Carmel Part II coming soon…
For this year’s Memorial Day Weekend the kids and I headed up to our favorite vacation spot: Tahoe. We had originally planned to stay at Mary’s house in Truckee, however, plans were changed last minute and we ended up at my family’s place instead. (And yes, we absolutely realize how lucky we are to have options.)
The group included Mary, Christie, Jen, Doug, Milo and I…The entire weekend was filled with a shit ton of laughter, rock paper scissors, delicious dining and of course, it wouldn’t be a weekend on the north shore, without woodies.
To keep things contained in one part of the house, all of us decided to stay in one room. Imagine summer camp, but way classier. The highlight for me was most definitely my Saturday morning wake up call. By 9:30am everyone was up and aggressively trying to get me motivated to put on a wet suit and go for a swim.
SIDE NOTE: On Thursday night there were chains required because of the amount of snowfall. Now imagine that snow recently melted creating the lake in which we were about to dive in. Brrrr.
Aside, I gave in. With the help of Mary and Christie, we struggled into our wetsuits and headed down to the water for a very cold morning swim…Hilarity ensued as we counted down for our race to the booeys…Lola following close behind.
First of all congratulations to Michelle. She was such a beautiful bride and it was such a beautiful ceremony.
I’d like say thank you to Michelle. Michelle, thank you for breaking my month long streak of sobriety. Not sure what put me in such a funk, but celebrating your nuptial bliss with some of my most favorite people seemed to pull me right out of the darkness.
The wedding was in Carmel, one of my most favorite weekend getaways. I was staying in an adorable little hotel with Lauren, Kasey, Crispin and Forrest. (Yes, there were five of us in one room, but it had three beds.) Lauren had apparently just googled the hotel closest to the reception at the best price. I’m, however, still convinced she strategically planned it to be next to the only bar in Carmel open until 2am: Brophys. Nice work Lo.
As soon as we got into town Kasey, Lauren and I headed over to Brophy’s for a drink. I was hoping to start slow, but Lauren ordered me a Long Island. Damn her.
After several cocktails the wedding party showed up post rehearsal dinner.
As you can see, Lauren, Kasey and I had enjoyed one too many Long Islands and I was heading towards a very bad decision.
I failed to mention that Brophy’s is most definitely a male dominated bar. In fact, besides the two cougars in cheetah print, we were the only females there. Upon walking into the bar, there was one group of men in particular, a golf weekend getaway for them, who looked to be a good time. “Ricky Jones” as I will call him, had instantly caught my attention…mmm…chocolate.
We talked for quite some time…He was some sort of youth officer…I don’t recall much more than liars dice and shots. But by the end of the night I had collected more than just a couple of free cocktails. I had in my possession one very important piece of collateral: his hotel room key. (Notice how “sotally tober” I look in this photo.)
Despite my girlfriends being in the mostest drunken stupor, their reaction went something like this…
Now stop judging me…I wasn’t actually going to do it. It’s the thrill of the chase, not the actual conquest. Give me a break…I do have some class. (Some being the operative word.) I gave him back the key and the girls and I went back to our own hotel room. There I enjoyed some delicious cupcakes…chocolate cupcakes that is…teeheehee…
Coincidentally the next night we ran into the same group of guys and it turns out “Ricky Jones” was married. What a sleaze! He wasn’t even wearing a wedding ring! Some guys are so ridiculously gross.
……
The rest of the weekend was fantastic. Saturday and Sunday brunching. An amazing afternoon wedding on the beach. And most importantly, good times with great friends…
Quotes of the Weekend:
Kasey: “What does Walmart smell like?” Crispin: “Kmart.” Kasey: “What does Kmart smell like?” Crispin: “Poverty.”
Kasey: “The back piercing (which she sports). It brings in the men. I just can’t guarantee the caliber of those men.”
Anonymous: “The last guy I dated…I finally convinced to let me stick my finder in his ass.” Me: “Congratulations. I see you’re still really classy.”
Me: “And his name was Ricky Jones. Seriously.”
Me: “Why do you drive such a big truck?” Courtney: “Cause if you’re gonna be a bear, might as well be a grizzly.”
Anonymous: “His hands are as big as Colorado. He’s one tall glass of water.”
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