Tag Archives: summer

Summertime and the Livin’s Easy

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No. “Livin’s easy” is not a euphemism for being a skank…In fact, despite it being Summer of Single Dudes Part II, I’ve been more focused on getting some sun than getting some…

Last I wrote, Christay and I had headed south(pun intended) for a quick trip to Mexico and from there the Summer season really kicked off. Tahoe on the Fourth, a Wedding in the East Bay, a Sweet Sixteen for a princess, Christay’s Birthday, Vegas for a week, Outside Lands Weekend in the City, more East Bay and finally a weekend in Somerset with the roomies. I’m back in the city as of two days ago and it feels great to have a bed to myself and a quiet night to catch up on Jersey Shore, Real Housewives and Teen Mom.

A couple hilarious highlights from the past couple of months…

Boobie Burns…I practically had a third degree burn on my big boob from laying out in Tahoe right after getting back from Mexico. I had to use special plastic surgery tissue repair cream to fight the scaring. I’m an idiot. But for the record, I’m still really freakin’ tan.

 

Lola Loves to Swim…How ridiculous is she?!

 

My Cousin and the Bride to Be, Megs… Chugging a Beer Before the Ceremony at the Church…She’s so classy!

 

The Cupid Shuffle…If you don’t know this song and/or dance. Please download it now. My entire family (aunts, uncles, cousins and parents) learned it and performed it at both the wedding and sweet sixteen. Amazingness.

 

Christie’s Birthday Magnum…While hosting birthday cocktails at our place, our neighbors stopped by and realized it was Christie’s birthday. Only moments later they showed back up at the front door with this and a card. Is Christay a midget or is that a HUGE bottle of wine and wine glass?!

 

Maggie McGarry’s Creepy McCreeperson…Check out the expression on the girls’ faces and Mary’s blatant index finger point at his fake cigarette. WTF Creepy?!

 

Annie & I at the Vegas ER…While at our conference for work, Annie’s previous week’s injury landed us in the ER. While the hospital was clean and the staff attentive, the patients were absolutely horrifying. The icing on the cake was a 60+ year old man, in an electric wheelchair, wreaking of BO and growing a beard to his chest, who shared the following (and yes, these are direct quotes), “Honey…you’re my type of woman,” and only a couple minutes later, “I’m a sadistic mother fucker and I’ll take him back to Alabama and kill him southern style.” Seriously?! The only good out of that trip was the sweet set of wheels we had for the week!

 

Outside Lands Saturday in the City…Due to my stay in Vegas I, unfortunately, missed out on the Outside Land’s Festival, but was able to hang out Saturday PM with those who had attended during the day. That night we met up at our favorite restaurant, Wasabi & Ginger, where we were joined by Mary and her cousin, Mikey. Upon getting seated, Mikey turns to the waiter and requests 6 Kamikazes on his own separate tab. The waiter looked at him funny, clarified the order again and walked away. Now granted Mike is 6’6, but even a dude that tall couldn’t put away 50+ pieces of sushi. Turns out…Mike thought he was ordering 6 Kamikaze shots, not 6 Kamikaze rolls. Classic sushi mix-up, right?

 

Somerset Wine Country…Lo so kindly hosted a group of us at her family’s cabin this weekend where we learned not only do they have delicious and inexpensive wineries within a short drive, but they also have an awesome river to cool down after a long day of boozing and no A/C. Only a short walk from the house, we headed down and met three local mountain dudes to swim and chillax with.

Little did we know, those three local dudes, had made friends with Lo and she had invited them over for drinks that night. Not surprisingly Lo got drunk and passed out only a short time after one of the dudes actually showed up at the house. Alex grew up in the area and had never left. A bonified, but not boneable, mountain man who blatantly attempted to sleep with Crispin,Christay and I. Gross. Absolutely gross.

 

 

All in all…a great summer and can’t wait for what’s to come this Fall.

Mexico…The Reason I Can’t Travel with Christie

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It’s been a couple weeks since Christie and I returned from our famed four day extravaganza in Cabo San Lucas. Perhaps you’ve heard a couple of the stories, but in case you haven’t, here’s what I’m willing to share…

It was only seven days prior to what ultimately ended up to be our departure date, that I received a call from Christie with the news there were $280 round trip tickets to Mexico available for the next week. We had absolutely no plan for a vacation, but after a very brief text exchange we deemed it necessary we take advantage of this great deal.

Flash forward to Wednesday morning, passports and luggage in tow, we were on our way to SFO Terminal 2 Virgin Airlines for our flight to Cabo.

Thanks to our friends in the sky, we received several free cocktails en route and were quite, let’s call it, relaxed by the time we touched down. Landing at almost 5pm we were ready for a drink and some dinner, but first we had to check into our resort. This is the view to which we were greeted…Perfection.

We checked into our room and settled in for the evening. After an outstanding meal at the five star restaurant on property, we enjoyed an after dinner cocktail and even got the opportunity to meet their head chef! Of course she didn’t speak english, so it was a very brief encounter.

Aside, we closed out the night early and saved ourselves up for a very long day ahead. We awoke early Thursday morning for our appointments at the spa. After a couple treatments and some well earned time in the sauna and steam room, we headed over to the adult pool for some lunch and cocktails at the swim up bar.

Let me preface the next part of our story with the following: Prior to leaving for our trip, both Christie and I received long lectures from our mothers to avoid certain things in Mexico. For example, we were to not drink the water, spend time with strange men or any strangers for that matter, imbibe any foreign substances (pun intended), visit downtown alone, etc, etc. Over the next 24 hours we proceeded to break every single one of their rules.

Almost immediately after arriving to the pool we met six men on vacation for a bachelor party. These characters included:

  • Hi-Larry-ous the Bachelor
  • Stacks
  • The Window Washer
  • Transformer
  • Note: There were also two other dudes in attendance as well, however we didn’t get to know them as well as the others.
Over the course of the afternoon we enjoyed several shots of the hotel’s best tequila at half price thanks to Christie,  took a lesson in body surfing and buried Christie in the sand. By the end of the afternoon, these lovely gents had offered us an invitation back to their suite. Assuming we would be heading downtown, we got completely dolled up and headed over to their place a couple buildings over. Wrong.
Upon arrival we quickly realized the boys had settled in for the night and we’d be spending the evening on the resort in their sweet. But don’t worry…we found a way to pass the time…(get your head out of the gutter)…we taught them King’s Cup!

It wasn’t but a couple hours into the night when we ran out of chi-chi’s and had to order more booze. Nice work Christie.

I think it might have been the final bottle of vodka that threw me for a loop, but my memory blurs a bit after this point.

The next day we awoke after only a few hours of sleep to find my camera missing and only a short time to make it downtown to catch our snorkeling day trip. I had a sneaking suspicion it might be at the pool, which was open 24 hours, but when I arrived it was nowhere to be found. Disappointed I headed back to my room only to run into a woman on the foot path who asked if I was looking for my camera. She had just turned it into Lost & Found. I then realized she would have had to review the pictures to know it was my camera. Very very very embarrassing.

Needless to say we did make it onto our snorkeling trip, which turned out to be an open bar. Score!

When we returned back to the hotel we had several drive by visits from the bachelor party, however we failed to take our mother’s advice again and drank not the water, but the cocktails with the ice on the boat that afternoon. We were down for the count until we headed to the airport the next morning. It didn’t matter though. There was no way we could have topped Thursday anyway.

De nada Mexico. De nada.

 

Tahoe…You Make Me Happy

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For this year’s Memorial Day Weekend the kids and I headed up to our favorite vacation spot: Tahoe. We had originally planned to stay at Mary’s house in Truckee, however, plans were changed last minute and we ended up at my family’s place instead. (And yes, we absolutely realize how lucky we are to have options.)

The group included Mary, Christie, Jen, Doug, Milo and I…The entire weekend was filled with a shit ton of laughter, rock paper scissors, delicious dining and of course, it wouldn’t be a weekend on the north shore, without woodies.

To keep things contained in one part of the house, all of us decided to stay in one room. Imagine summer camp, but way classier. The highlight for me was most definitely my Saturday morning wake up call. By 9:30am everyone was up and aggressively trying to get me motivated to put on a wet suit and go for a swim.

SIDE NOTE: On Thursday night there were chains required because of the amount of snowfall. Now imagine that snow recently melted creating the lake in which we were about to dive in. Brrrr.

Aside, I gave in. With the help of Mary and Christie, we struggled into our wetsuits and headed down to the water for a very cold morning swim…Hilarity ensued as we counted down for our race to the booeys…Lola following close behind.

Check out our winter water aerobics and more…


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We’ve Lost Doug…Again

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I’m still unclear why, but Mary’s younger brother Doug has moved to San Francisco for the amazing summer ahead! For those of you who know Mary, imagine a male version of her and you have Doug. So on Friday night we wanted to welcome him to the city, so we hosted an average weekend night on the town. Dinner at my place. Cocktails in North Beach. Late night pizza. Dance party. In addition to Doug, my friends Cait and Ali were also in town…a full house, so to speak.

We cheated a little on dinner and heated up a frozen lasagna and spent more energy on the delicious cocktails. Before we knew it hours had passed, it was 11:30pm and we were catching cabs for the bars. We headed to Savoy in North Beach…I’m not entirely sure what went down. Things were blurry after the first drink. I vaguely remember talking to a couple guys, friends, etc. I’m pretty sure Mary, Doug and I hit up Golden Boy pizza and somehow we made it back to my apartment with a crowd for an after party. I didn’t last long…I was found in Sean’s bed passed out, face down, jeggings and all.

The next morning I woke up next to Mary in bed. I roll over and she clamours, “Where’s Doug?!”

SIDE NOTE: In any other situation this would not be a legitimate question or concern. However, a couple months back Doug was visiting for the weekend and Mary had taken him out to dinner and drinks. I ran into them at KTs (RIP) around midnight that evening and neither of them could form complete sentences. That next morning we discovered Doug had been picked up by the police and dropped off at his oldest sister’s house in Russian Hill. His wallet and cell phone were gone and his hands were cut and bleeding. Mary was responsible for him that night and had to work up quite the story to keep from getting her ass chewed out by her family.

So on Saturday morning when we awoke to prep for Beer & Oyster Festival brunch and activities, questioning Doug’s location was a valid question. I convinced Mary he just wasn’t awake yet and she just needed to give him some time. By 11am we were dressed and still no Doug. We went to his apartment, bribed the door man and pounded on his front door. Still no Doug. I called the police to see if he was in the drunk tank, while Mary worked on getting a spare key to his place. Low and behold, Doug was sounds asleep, phone off, at his side.

Now that Doug was located we headed over to Kel’s for Beer & Oyster Brunch. Yummy deliciousness ensued. (Note the boy in the blue shirt. That’s Kellan’s brother Patrick. He comes for this weekend every year. He’s an excellent time.)

By 2pm we were into the Festival, enjoying the music and desperately searching for the margaritas tent. Bingo! Danny not only found the bar, but also the heaviest handed bartender!

SIDE NOTE: At last year’s Beer & Oyster, Danny and I didn’t make it past 3pm. Around 2:30 I was asked to leave the festival after attempting to order a margarita from the bartender who was passing out free shots of tequila. On our way home I discovered a bench to rest on. After looking at the below picture, it’s no wonder I was asked to leave.

This year, I made it the whole day…

It definitely got a little cold, but we waited it out to hear the first couple Cake songs. At this point the wind was chilly, but we were toasty…for example:

Milo challenged a five year old hippie child to a hula hoop contest. Milo was beat in less than one minute.

The annual pyramid came and went quite quickly…

We determined “Blueblockers” make you feel ten times more drunk than you already are… (To purchase your own pair, click here.)

We headed to Paxti’s for some pizza goodness post festival. On our way there we ran into a park, some slutty women Danny and Doug stalked for a bit and met new friends…

At Paxti’s we managed to make quite the scene. Someone ordered three 12-packs of PBR, which the group then proceeded to shotgun on the street. We tend to keep it classy wherever we go. (Please note Kellan has morphed to Bel at this point in the day. I’m sure she blames her brother’s terrible influence.)

I’d say only a couple ounces of dignity were lost at this year’s Beer & Oyster Festival. Looking forward to Union Street and North Beach Festival in June!!

PS Check out this judging baby. This little biatch stared me down for a solid five minutes. Seriously?!