What the F&%$ Happened to November?

I’m pretty sure there are 12 months in a year, however, yesterday I asked Mary if hours were counted differently in other parts of the world, so common sense like this may not be my strong suit. That said, based on my 2011 Standard Poodle Calendar, gifted to me by Christie last Christmas, the 11th month of the year is November and yet I don’t know where it went.

The months of November and December are by far my busiest professionally, but prove to also be the busiest personally. The holidays bring family, friends and acquaintances together more in 60 days than in the remaining 305 days combined. For me, this November was filled with the following and I encourage you to take note…

Boozing in Sonoma
Mary and her parents graciously invited me to a weekend in Sonoma for food, wine and good company. While I only ended up staying Friday night, the 24 hours were filled with all of that and more. We stayed in the amazing MacArthur Place, where we had a ridiculous space, including Lola’s very own day bed.

(NOTE: For those of you who don’t know, Lola can go everywhere now. Stop asking questions.)

While in Sonoma we dined at Cafe La Haye and The Fig Cafe, both absolutely delicious! And of course it wouldn’t be Sonoma without wine tasting, stopping at Benziger and Ledson Saturday afternoon. Unfortunately I did have to drive back to the city that evening and I did not want to be shiza-faced in front of Mary’s sweet parents, so the imbibing of the wine was limited to say the least. Even so, the getaway was fantastic!

Discovering Ram’s Gate
Less than a 40 minute drive from the city, Ram’s Gate Winery is the perfect location for a Sunday Funday. Now open for almost two months, we’ve been there three times and counting. In an attempt to become regulars we’ve been making the trip to Sonoma’s border on every free weekend to enjoy their lounge-like atmosphere, delicious grub and wildly refreshing champagne. I strongly encourage you do the same.

Rediscovering Lion’s Pub
If you’ve never been, you must, especially during the holidays. Lion’s Pub is a great bar in the heart of Pac Heights because…
- Their cocktails are made with fresh ingredients! I recommend any flavor mojito and definitely the caipirinha.
- There is a fireplace. Not kidding. Great for the winter season, especially around Christmas.
- It’s conveniently located near Solstice and Fish Bowl, which make for a quick crawl route.
- The have free cheese plates. Free. Need I say more?

Dancing with SuperBad at Maggie McGarry’s
Maggie McGarry’s has and continues to be a great place for ridiculous late night dancing. Avoiding house and club music at all cost, they feature live rock and pop bands, such as SuperBad. Wizz, the bouncer at Maggie’s, says “SuperBad is my most favorite band here…They’re killer,” which, despite his creepy long hair and sullen face, I can’t argue with the man. They’re so good, my cousin Risa, who rarely stays out past 10pm, didn’t leave the dance floor until 2am! If you want to get you’re groove on, this is the spot.

Thanksgiving
No November would be complete without a turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing, green bean casserole, marshmallow yams and gravy. Not unlike any family holiday, the gang gathered together in the East Bay for cooking, eating, drinking, boardgames and good times. The clan continues to grow and we’re up to 30+ these days, with 26 in attendance at this year’s feast, 32 including the 6 six dogs.

Getting together with my extended family always reminds me of everything I have to be thankful for. Friends, family and Lola make me a very lucky person. Although the Holiday Season is just kicking into high gear, take a moment to stop and enjoy it. I’m sure you have a lot to gives thanks for too. Cheers!

 

EXTREME! Wine Tasting!

Yes. That’s exactly what it was…extreme wine tasting. Extremely fun. Extremely aggressive. I’d like to imagine other people attending this year’s 33rd Annual Barrel Tasting in Sonoma was just as fun for others as it was for me, but it’s pretty hard to believe anyone else was enjoying themselves as much as we were.

The weekend crew included Mary, Christie, Annie, Anna, Lauren, Danny and Milo. In the past we would have typically packed 30 of our closest friends into a bus and headed up for the day from San Francisco. While there is absolutely nothing wrong with this approach and has a proven track record of good times, we decided we wanted to switch it up a bit this year and enjoy more than just 8 hours of wine road…We wanted a full 48 hours. EXTREME!

So we booked a room at this amazing hotel in Sonoma called The Lodge. Young or old, you will absolutely love this place. Instead of a long row of boxey hotel rooms, they have these little bungalows, two to a cottage. We had originally planned on fewer people, so one room was more than spacious, but it also worked for the eight of us too.

We arrived to The Lodge around 11am, just in time for our personal driver to pick us up for the day. The limo came stocked with champagne, but we packed a couple extras just in case  (i.e. a case of beer, a bottle of vodka and the always classy bottle of “Admiral Nelson” since Captain Morgan was out of stock). After our first cocktail at the bar we loaded into the car and headed up north to our first stop, Bella Winery.

Bella is always one of my favorites and here’s why: They always do a theme. In January it was all around the launch of their new label, and the entire tasting area was covered in birds, beautiful birch wood and a clean, crisp white fabric…This tasting, it was completely decked out in western wear. The pourers were in flannel, cowboy hats and awesome snakeskin boots! Plus they had my favorite, southern style grits and BBQ pork paired with awesome zins! Of course we not only tasted, but purchased a bottle of wine to enjoy in the picnic tables on the property.

From Bella we headed to Quivira, Michel-Schlumberger and to Truett Hurst. In total we (not including myself) spent close to $1000 in wine, including some new wine memberships. Which wine club? Yeah…no idea. Too intoxicated, but I’m pretty sure Christie joined because of, and I quote, “Their amazing customer service.” Yet she couldn’t recall the name of the winery…I suppose only credit card statements will tell…

All in all the Saturday was a success…despite a couple wipe outs amongst the group, we made it back to the hotel safe and sound. Our dinner reservations downtown (yes, we were powering through) weren’t until 7:30pm, which gave us two hours to kill. Lucky for us, this classy establishment had an amazing pool and spa right outside our little bungalow. We quickly changed into our suits, grabbed several bottles of wine and headed to the water for a canon ball contest and a couple chicken fights. Shockingly enough we weren’t event asked to be quiet by hotel security, nor did they question that eight people exited one hotel room. In fact, they even poured our wine into plastic cups so we could swim AND drink. EXTREME!

Before we knew it we were running late for our dinner reservation which made for an interesting getting-ready-party. Let’s just say the shower situation was questionable at most. Finally we were at 100%, hopped in the shuttle and headed downtown to Maya for some mexican cuisine. At the time I argued I wasn’t that buzzed, but looking back at the photos my eyes don’t see too open to the world and, the other crazy thing, we were done with dinner in less than 45 minutes. My assumption is that it was quite clear we were intoxicated to the restaurant staff, especially when we demanded it was Danny’s birthday despite no mention of it until we felt like dessert.

After a strange encounter with two creepy old men (questionably homosexual) who fed the girls extravagantly expensive shots of tequila, we headed back to the hotel and straight to the pool. We were there until they shut us down around 11pm. Milo and Christie tried to convince an adorable couple that they were swingers…not a whole lot of success there, considering Erin and Jon quickly left the spa after I shared with them that we lived a commune lifestyle back in San Francisco. I, of course, had no idea about the whole swingers story, which made all of us look really creepy.

By midnight we were tucked away in our three beds, all eight of us ready for some shut eye…Around 5am everyone woke up in a complete state of “hermakey,” yelling and screaming at one another…then, within minutes, it was silent and everyone was back asleep. We didn’t officially wake up until almost 10am.

Once we checked out of the hotel we headed to a great breakfast at Fremont Diner off of Highway 12. Abso-frickin-lutely delicious. And they even had Mr Potato Head to distract you while you waited for your breakfast! I don’t know how or where Mary finds these places, but I’m thrilled she does!

After brunch, we lost Annie and Anna, the Dynamic Armenian Duo, while the rest of us headed back up north for a second day of tasting. Our first stop was at a strange strip mall in Santa Rosa, where we ironically thoroughly enjoyed their wines, but not surprising, detested their customer service. Our pourer was this wiry lady, we’ll call her “Sue” who I am convinced was sleeping with the married wine maker…There is no other comprehensible reason they would have kept Sue on staff for the 9+ years she claimed. To avoid further awkward encounters at this D’Argenzio Winery, Milo joined their wine club so all of their delicious could ship home verses a pick up. (Nice call James.)

From there we drove to middle of nowhere Santa Rosa and Sebastopol to enjoy wines at Hanna, Balletto and DeLoach. Balletto was definitely my favorite, where thankfully Milo joined their wine club so we can enjoy their member parties! My favorite part was their pourer, who offered Milo a seizure (aka a flashing light button) if he purchased an entire case of wine. Needless to say, we purchased two cases. EXTREME!

On our way back to the city we closed out the weekend with a real classy meal at PF Chang’s and even brought in our own bottle of wine. (PS Apparently they have no corkage fee, just a lot of judgement from the staff.) All in all, yet another amazing weekend.

Oh and in case you’re lazy, or a “visual learner,” here’s a video of everything I just said above.


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Who Wouldn’t Bring Budlight Wine Tasting?

This year’s Winter Wineland in Sonoma was no different than those of the past…Over 100 wineries, private car service and our friends making a scene every stop we made. This year, however, we decided to switch things up and do a girls only trip. I think the video speaks for itself, but a couple of highlights…

  • Annie insisting beer was the best way start to the day. Still not sure how this made sense.
  • Christie blowing kisses and then quickly rolling up the window, as we drove down the freeway pretending to be famous to the passersby.
  • The Paella at Bella was amazing to see and delicious to eat!
  • Dropping Annie off on Lombard as Christie threw dollar bills out towards her. What a hooker.


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So He is Single…Carmel Part II

Onto Carmel…day two and three. See Carmel Part I for day one.

Once we had escaped being kicked out of our Carmel family inn, we headed into the valley for some yummy brunch at Corkscrew Cafe.

Not only was the food delicious, but so was the service. Sean and Dustin were our servers…They were hilarious. They looked twelve years old, but apparently it was only their innocence that kept them looking so young. Well that and their rosey cheeks.

We finished our ‘Ladies Who Lunch” luncheon and popped down the street to Talbott and Georis wineries.

The atmosphere for tastings was beautiful and the company was pretty fantastic as well .

At Talbott we met two adorable couples from Los Angeles. The ladies were sisters and despite both being grandmothers they looked 25. They sat and talked with us for a while offering advice on beautiful skin, local wineries and of course, how to find true love.

At Georis we met Bear, a musician from South Carolina who currently holds the Guinness Book of World Records for finger tapping. He had a snaggle tooth, southern accent and sweet sense of humor. Check him out:


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We had finished up in the Valley and headed back to the hotel. We quickly refreshed and headed out for a late dinner. Unfortunately we didn’t make a reservation at the restaurant Dametra’s, so we put in our name, dropped off our Georis and Talbott wine and headed to Il Fornaio for a couple cocktails in the meantime.

At Il Fornaio we met “B” a bartender who had been working there for over 15 years. Quite entertaining and made one mean pomegranate margarita.

Over the course of the next hour we attempted to hit on a table of men who had obviously just returned from a game of golf. We created a diagram to determine who was single and who was married. Alas. No luck. Again.

After hugging “B” goodbye we headed back over to Dametra’s for some outstanding food, singing, dancing and good times. The restaurant is run by a family of Greek men (i.e. cousins, brothers, grandfather, etc). I emphasize the word family because I felt like it was actually just a group of friends who shared a common interest of good food and good women. We were attended to by at least five male waiters, serenaded by their grandfather and danced adored by a table of Arabic drummers. An interesting experience to say the least.

We finished up our final course and headed back to Brophy’s for Round II. We entered the bar to find all the locals and workers knew us by name. I even got a talking to again by the owner, Chris, about keeping it PG tonight. We dropped off the bottle of wine we didn’t consume at dinner behind the bar and bellied up to a table in the corner next to two hawt single dudes, who I shall call Folsom and Sven.

Folsom and Sven didn’t seem terribly interested at first, however, after joining us for a drink, their attitudes quickly adjusted. Christie pretty quickly decided Sven was heres, despite Jen’s tentative interest. Mary chatted up Folsom, however he was suffering from a recent broken heart and didn’t care too much to take any females serious. With Mary and Christie distracted, Jen and I wandered the other 10 square feet of the bar for any newbies.

Unfortunately there were no newbies, instead  the wedding party from the night before turned up, including Robert. He quickly approached me, stuck his hand inappropriately down my shirt and began making out with me. Chris, the bar owner, quickly reminded us to keep it PG. Robert then decided it was probably a good idea to go back to my hotel room. I agreed.

So I walked over to the table with Sven, Christie, Folsom and Mary to grab my coat. I explained to them my plan and everyone seemed to be in agreement that it was an excellent idea. On my way back to Robert I stopped to talk with this dude who I shall call Tin Cup. Tin Cup was a movie producer from LA who was sitting in the bar with an oversized pair of headphones choosing music for his upcoming movie. He couldn’t tell me what the name of it was but described it as follows:

“It’s a story about a war veteran who comes back to play professional golf. He comes to Carmel, meets a lady and rebuilds his life. Oh and it’s starring Kevin Costner.”

I responded by asking, “Didn’t they already make that movie? It’s called Tin Cup.” He did not think this was clever. He went on to make ridiculous statements like..

“If you don’t have money, you can never be happy.”

“I’m dating a japanese princess. She’s a direct descendant of the emperor. In our spare time she and I run a dog grooming business called Pretty Doggies.”

“Don’t call me sweetheart. My name is ____. Don’t ever call me a pet name again.”

I seriously couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried. The true downside of this conversation, outside of feeling dumber, was that Robert thought I was flirting with this 52 year old douche and left the bar giving me a dirty look. So much for going back to the hotel room. So instead the girls and I finished up our cocktails and silently headed back to our hotel room.

Sunday morning we woke up, snuck out of the hotel room and headed over to Big Sur to have brunch at Nepenthe. I was pretty sure Jen and Christie were going to vomit on the windy 30-minute drive. Especially when I started singing showtunes. But we made it there free and clear. No Sunday Funday lunch would do without a refreshing cocktail, especially if daiquiris are on the menu!

The day ended with a long drive back to San Francisco. Lola, wine and dignity in tow…

A great kick off to the Summer of Single Dudes.

Puttin’ on the “Fritz,” Fritz Winery That Is…

Every year Sonoma welcomes people of all walks of life to introduce the newest grapes of the season with a wine tasting event, Annual Barrel Tasting. For those locals in the city of San Francisco, this means a gathering of your most favorite people, a short bus, mimosas and 8+ hours of good times you may or may not remember on Sunday morning. This year’s wine tour included the following players…


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Saturday began with an aggressive wake up from Mary, who was ready to start the day around 6:30am. Mind you, we had been out with Milo until around 2:30 am, so I had been asleep for approximately four hours at this point. Thirty or so minutes later I dragged myself out of bed, gave Mary a ride home (that’s right…I still have sleepovers with my friends) and came back to our place to get ready for breakfast.

The key to a solid day in wine country is breakfast. Sure, you can stop on the way and grab 36 mini sandwiches from Burger King, which we’ve done, but starting out the day with a balanced meal will keep you going strong all eight hours. I decided a Burrito Bar was the best bet this year. Scrambled eggs, sausage, sauteed veggies, cheese, guacamole and salsa wrapped up in warm tortillas…what could be more delicious?! Although I take full credit for the breakfast menu, the entire execution was Mary and Kellan…kudos to the chefs!

By 10am we were ready and rearing to go, however our blast off was temporarily delayed due to the late arrival of Lola’s nanny. Since I was going to be gone the entire day I thought it best Lola stay with a friend. Since Greg happens to be totally enamored with the pup, I was thrilled when he offered to take her to the East Bay to visit his family. Around 2pm I received a text message photo with this caption: ”She’s having fun…Hope you guys are too.”


That’s Greg’s nephew, his three legged mini poodle and Lola. You may or may not know Greg, but I know for a fact you’re now in love with him as a result of how adorable this photo is…

So around 10:30 we headed to our first winery. As I mentioned barrel tasting is not just a random Saturday Faturday occasion for my friends, but for all sorts of people…Regina, our personal driver, informed us there were several busses already heading across the Golden Gate.


Regina (Our Personal Driver) & Mark

Upon our arrival to Family Wineries of Dry Creek, we see that three of our fellow buses have already been tasting: Blaire, Brian and my cousin Erin’s crews had also joined their friends for a day in the wine country. The first winery was actually a combination of about six different tasting rooms…everything from bold cabs to sweet sauvs. I’m not much of a wino, but I know what I like!

Milo, Chrissy, Mary and I enjoying our very first tasting of the day.

From there we headed over to Bella Vineyards, which we visit every year. Their caves are so fun during barrel tasting…they have live music, gourmet bbq pork and grists, and of course booze along the way…

It was here we discovered the Tijuana Express! At first glance this motor vehicle appears to be a dirty, filthy taco truck, but once you take a closer look…it’s a fantastic party bus available for rent!

And next we headed to Fritz Underground Winery. By this point in time the the combination of tastings and shotgunning of beers had definitely caught up to a few people…

The only photo I have from inside Fritz winery.

Just as quickly as I had chugged my first couple of tastings, we were asked to leave…Here’s the what went down… Half the group went into the wine processing area (shown above) and through to the tasting room in a matter of minutes. The second half, which I was with, decided to stop and chat with the two wine makers in this processing area for a couple quick tastings. As were were standing around enjoying their tasty reds, Shawn, in his drunken stupor, bet Christie $20 to climb into one of the wine tanks.

(Note: Shawn has only met this group one time prior and that was at the Jersey Shore Party. What Shawn doesn’t know about our friends is that no bet is taken lightly, especially when there’s $20 on the table. One time…I threw down $20 at Savoy just so Mary could get in on a fierce game of Rock, Paper, Scissors. She lost the first two out of three, but at least we stepped up the challenge.)

Aside, Christie began joking with one of the wine makers asking what he would do if she climbed into the tank…He ignorantly replied, “Well I’d give you a kiss…cause I’ve never seen anyone do such a thing.” So now there’s money and a smooch involved…no way she’d turn back. Next thing I knew Mark is laughing hysterically looking into the dark depth of the wine tank and Christie is fully inside, curled up indian style. Unfortunately no one had a camera, not that there was time to take a picture before we were kindly asked to leave.

So the half of us they would no longer served headed down to regale our tale to Regina. She recommended we change our last winery to a place that would better suite our crowd now that we had taken a turn for the worst…

We closed out the day at Dry Creek Vineyards. This place was so beautiful, but unfortunately as we arrived they were closing the doors so we only got one or two tastes inside. Not that we needed anymore. At this point everyone was pretty much in their own world…Lauren had slapped Milo so hard he got a bloody nose, Adrian was making out with Cody, Chrissy was lecturing me on love, etc. Our last photos of the day were taken in the mustard plant fields outside the winery, where as Chrissy was yelling at me about finding Mr. Right, she tripped and fell flat on her face. Karma’s a bitch, ain’t it Chrissy?

Our ride home was filled with dancing, napping and In ‘n Out…

All in all…another successful year at Sonoma’s Barrel Tasting.